When Shit Hits the Fan

You can be at the most beautiful place in the world, but life will still catch you if it wants you. What I mean by this is that the challenges you face are coming regardless of circumstance. However, the more present and attuned with the moment you are, the more you can keep your energy involved in the process, the more power you will have over how to respond to your challenging situation. And then, maybe it doesn’t seem as much of a challenge. You can have a hard time, but not be mastered by it. You can keep some sort of peace and not be ruled by the struggle.

So, here I am sitting 20 steps from the pacific coast of Costa Rica. Red Macaws fly over my head daily, monkeys hang out in the trees above my house, the sound of the ocean drones its harmonical and calming drone 24/7, I can pick the from the abundance of fresh bananas and mangoes in my neighbors garden on a whim, there’s an incredible surf break 5 minutes from my house, and I have space to do many of the things I love on a daily basis.

Idyllic, I know. But what people don’t tell you about paradise is that sometimes it’s hard. Actually not only sometimes, literally half of the time it’s hard. Just like anywhere else on the planet. Just because you’re in paradise does not remove you from the universal order of things. You can’t be in a blissful flow forever, anywhere in the world. Life is a polarity paradox. So, of course, paradise cannot always be so idyllic. The pendulum has to swing the other way at times and, when it does, that bad boy swings. Let me tell you.

So, again, here I am writing this piece from paradise, having a hard time. I’ll save you the details because you know what I mean when I say that. One of those times where it all seems to come at once, continuously, for an extended period. When all the things on their own wouldn’t be too bad, but at the same time it’s like high spin mode on your washing machine. Yeah, one of those times.

Of course, I have gotten involved in my melodrama and had my days of hopeless despair. But, I’ve also found times where I can keep my peace while remaining with the struggle. Notice that I didn’t say “transcend” the challenge. Because if I did that I wouldn’t feel it. And it’s only here because I need to feel it. So, if I don’t feel it, it will continue to show up in various ways because I will carry this un-integrated experience with me until it’s integrated (felt).

So, my lesson here has been, how can I feel but not be attached to what I feel? Or, easier put, how can I let go of how I should feel?

Oh boy, there’s that word. “I’m in paradise. I should feel grateful, blessed, and joyful.” One of the many examples from my self-dramatization, in an attempt to not feel that I’m having a hard time.

It must be noted that the challenges I’m talking about here are the ones that we all experience as humans, no matter our class, color, cultural background or status. I’m not referring to extreme challenges that some people face in this world (war, genocide, etc.). These are in a league of their own, so please do not take this out of context.

However, these things could help me put my hard time in perspective. I can think about the major suffering around the world right now and see that mine is minute in comparison. A good way to find gratitude for the things that are very pleasant in my life and put on a different lens of perception. While this is true, I’m ultimately just changing the lens. Which is a mental filter that still inhibits me from feeling and owning my situation.

In the end, I have to take the radical step of acceptance, which means I can no longer try to escape my situation through the mind. Whatever I feel, is worthy of being felt and it’s here that I can awaken to the profound lessons of my challenges. When I finally stop trying to escape the challenge I am feeling, I have an opportunity to listen to life.

And, all that being said, it’s easier to hear what life is saying when shit hits the fan.